3. The Effort

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 11:27:28 +0000

The rain had arrived before sunset. By dinner, the sea beyond the windows had disappeared behind a curtain of grey. The old bungalow responded to the monsoon the way it always had. The wooden staircase creaked more often. The windows rattled softly whenever the wind changed direction. Somewhere upstairs, a loose latch tapped against its frame with quiet persistence. The house sounded more alive than the people living in it. Anagha stood in the kitchen, watching the cook prepare tea. She no longer waited for Advait to return with stories from work. She waited out of habit. At exactly eight, the front door opened. His footsteps crossed the foyer. His umbrella was handed to the servant. His shoes were placed neatly on the rack. Everything happened with the precision of a ritual performed hundreds of times. He entered the living room. "You're back." "Yes." "Long day?" "A little." He loosened his watch and placed it on the table. "Tea?" "Please." She poured two cups. Steam curled into the room before disappearing. For a while, neither spoke. Advait opened the newspaper. Anagha watched him turn a page. She suddenly realized she could predict his evenings minute by minute. Tea. Newspaper. Dinner. Reading. Sleep. She knew his routine. She knew almost nothing else. The thought stayed with her. Then, quietly, she folded her own book shut. "Can I ask you something?" He looked up immediately. "Yes." "What do you remember about me?" He frowned slightly. "What do you mean?" "Anything." He thought. "You like reading." She nodded. "What else?" Another pause. "You work." "I do." "What else?" Silence. Rain tapped harder against the windows. She smiled, though there was very little amusement in it. "Do you know what my favourite colour is?" He looked genuinely puzzled. "No." "My favourite food?" "No." "My college?" "No." "My first job?" "No." "The city I wanted to live in before I came back to Mumbai?" "No." Each answer came without embarrassment. Without defensiveness. Simply as fact. She looked at him for a long moment. There was no guilt on his face. No discomfort. He wasn't trying to escape the conversation. He simply answered exactly what she knew him to answer. She leaned back in her chair. "I know your morning schedule." He listened. "I know you never drink coffee after six." A pause. "I know you remove your watch before you loosen your tie." Another. "I know you hate it when files aren't kept in order." "I know you still use the same fountain pen you've had for years." "I know you always finish reading a chapter before sleeping, no matter how tired you are." The room fell quiet. "I know these things because I've been paying attention." She met his eyes. "You've been living beside me for months." Another pause. "Do you know anything about me?" Advait didn't answer immediately. For the first time since she had met him, he took longer than usual. Not because he was avoiding the truth. Because he was searching for one. She watched him think. Really think. His eyes drifted toward the rain-dark window. Seconds passed. Then nearly a minute. Finally, he looked back at her. "Not much." The words landed softly. That was what made them unbearable. If he had lied— "Of course I know you." —she could have argued. If he had become angry— "Why are you asking these questions?" —she could have cried. If he had apologized— "I'm sorry. I'll do better." —she could have hoped. Instead, he had done none of those things. He had simply told the truth. Not much. She lowered her eyes. For months she had believed there was another version of him waiting somewhere beneath the surface. A warmer version. A curious version. A husband who would eventually arrive once awkwardness disappeared and familiarity took its place. She had mistaken silence for delay. She had believed intimacy was late. Now, for the first time, another possibility entered the room. Perhaps it wasn't late. Perhaps it wasn't coming. She looked at the man across from her. He hadn't changed. Not during the conversation. Not after it. He still looked calm. Still looked attentive. Still looked exactly as he had every evening before this one. Only she had changed. She understood something she hadn't wanted to understand. Advait wasn't withholding himself. There was nothing he was choosing not to say. This—this quiet, literal, emotionally uncurious man—was the whole of him. He noticed her silence. "Did I say something wrong?" She looked up. The question was sincere. It hurt almost as much as the answer before it. She managed a faint smile. "No." She stood, picked up the empty teacups, and carried them toward the kitchen. Behind her, she heard the rustle of another newspaper page turning. Life, astonishingly, had already resumed. As she rinsed the cups beneath running water, she realized grief did not always arrive after loss. Sometimes it arrived after certainty. That night, lying awake beside him, she did not wait for conversation to begin. For the first time since their wedding, she wondered whether this marriage had already revealed everything it was ever going to be.